Laughing at Freshmen: A Senior's Rite of Passage

Revisiting a humorous memory involving two freshmen at Shields Library Fall quarter 2011.

What a week this has been, what with finals closing in on us; weather so moody it could give you whip-lash; and Spring Break in just a few short weeks... I imagine everyone is feeling as busy and whelmed as I am. (I don’t feel overwhelmed, and I don’t think one can be underwhelmed, and if they can, I am not. So I am simply whelmed. Clever, huh?)

Now, I haven't got much to report on, as this is my first blog for Davis Patch, but thought I'd re-post something I wrote about in the beginning of Fall quarter, involving two freshmen and the confusion of entering/exiting . It was my first quarter as a "Senior" so, naturally, I got to delight in bugging freshman. (If anyone has videos of the annual and notorious first-week roundabout collisions, I'd be much obliged.)

I have revised this post slightly (verb conjugations FTW!) but have not changed it substantially. It is kinda funny, and ought to give you an idea of my writing style, or lack thereof. I digress. The blog-post! 

"Last Friday I was in Shield’s Library to get a book. (Ahem. Duh.) As I was walking through the swinging metal arm thing, a small huddled duo of (presumably) first-years were trying to exit ..in the wrong direction.

Let it be known that the library is set up pretty easily: you enter on one side, exit on the other. That is, the flow of traffic mimics that of street traffic: keep left.

Well, this concept escaped the frazzled minds of the two girls as they tried to push through a crowd of other students (myself included) entering the building. A quick-witted bloke who was walking beside me saw their rookie move, jumped in front of them, and shouted, “No!!! Don’t go that way, noooo!!” The girls, shocked at the sudden loud noise in the somewhat-quiet library, and taken aback by his quick movement as he lunged toward them to prevent their walking in, panicked and tried to turn tail.

...Except they did it simultaneously. And so they collided. Head-first, dropping their books, lunch pails, and book-bags. They then gathered their things and dashed out through the correct exit. The small crowd I had entered with had a good laugh and exchanged farewells as we went our separate ways into the labyrinth.

The calamity over, I went to the 4th floor to search for the book in need. I was like a kite and feeling a bit lost so I threw my stuff down on a table to scrutinize the piece of paper I had with the book’s call number. After determining it to be in section "PQ-whatever", I looked up and, lo-and-behold, I was standing before the exact row I needed to pilfer. Being that I was stoned and still having aftershocks of laughs from the door debacle, I was pretty satisfied with this trip to the library. I found my book in less-than-a-full-stroll-down-the-aisle and packed up my things, still smiling about the freshman fumble."

I am a legal Medical Marijuana patient and sometimes my use of MMJ collides with the stories I tell. For example, I am not always medicated when looking for a book but happened to be on this day, which consequently led me to feel a tad more lost than normal. This may sound like a slight digression, but it does add to the humor of stumbling upon the correct section of the fourth floor, before the correct aisle, near where the book was located. It's dumb luck, and amused me enough to post. My apologies if you disagree with Prop 215. Adieu!

This post is contributed by a community member. The views expressed in this blog are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of Patch Media Corporation. Everyone is welcome to submit a post to Patch. If you'd like to post a blog, go here to get started.

Justin Cox (Editor) March 17, 2012 at 02:50 AM
Best freshman collision story I've read in a long time. Fun read!
Silviu Margarit April 04, 2012 at 07:47 PM
Nice story, I have many medicated memories of Shields Lib myself :-)
Onomatopoeia April 04, 2012 at 08:17 PM
It is a labyrinthine maze of a zoo! I still don't fully understand what the cages with desks and interrogation-lamps are for...


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